For men with female partners, one obvious approach is for his partner to use a vibrator on her clit during intercourse with him (where the vibrations will 'diffuse' into his genitals).

You need to know if you are looking for vaginal, clitoral or both kinds of stimulation before deciding on a toy. You also need to know if you want something with a mild or strong vibration. A good way to determine this is to ask yourself...


Do you I like direct stimulation or is penetration alone often enough?

If you’ve found that direct stimulation is too intense for you, then you probably need to go with a vaginal vibrator or a very mild clitoral vibrator. On the other hand, if you prefer direct clitoral stimulation, you would want to go for a strong clitoral vibrator. If however you’d like to try both, then you might want to look at models that provide both types of stimulation.

Do I want to use this whilst making love or alone?

Though vaginal vibrators can be a great foreplay tool, if you want to use your toy while having penetrative sex you may want to select a smaller clitoral vibrator so it does not get in the way. An external battery pack is also a great idea, so you have more freedom to move your hands around. With an external battery pack it can also be easier for your partner to ‘take control’.

Where do I want to use my toy?

If you want the freedom to use your toy in the bath, shower or pool then you will need to select a waterproof model. Normal models cannot be fully submerged in water.

Clitoral vibrators

The majority of our nerve endings are external. It therefore makes sense to have a vibrator specifically designed for stimulating the clitoris! Clitoral vibrators are usually smaller than vaginal ones, but carry much stronger vibrations. Their small size makes them ideal for use whilst making love. Some clitoral stimulators come attached to a ‘erection ring’ that slips over the penis or your toy to provide you with stimulation during penetration.

Vaginal

These are traditional vibrators designed for penetrative stimulation. They aren’t generally orgasmic for most women and are usually used in conjunction with a clitoral vibrator. Many women find that although they can’t reach orgasm with penetration alone, they do enjoy the sensation. Some vaginal vibrators are slightly curved to stimulate the G-Spot. Not all women enjoy g-spot stimulation, however the majority do. If you have never located your g-spot this type of vibrator is an excellent way to find it. (And even if you don’t actually find it, you can have a lot of fun trying!)

The material vaginal vibrators are made from is particularly important. Harder materials tend to not be as comfortable as softer ones. Waterproof models are also available if you enjoy playing in the bath!

Vaginal & Clitoral

This is by far the most popular type of vibrator. These vibrators work double time to stimulate you vaginally and clitorally.

The anus is richly endowed with nerve endings and stimulation can be as pleasurable as that of the genitals. The male prostate gland is most easily stimulated through the anus. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Plenty of good lubricant, relaxation and communication are all important for safe anal play. The receptive partner must be in control of the action. If the action hurts, stop, relax and try again. Take it slowly and gently.

An anal toy must have a smooth, seamless surface and a flared base to prevent it from slipping right into the rectum. If it is longer than 10cm it must be very flexible to adapt to the curve of the rectum. Like vibrators, anal toys are all designed for their own unique purposes.

Anal beads and wands are designed to be inserted slowly, bit by bit and then removed quickly right before climax. In doing this, you provide stimulation to the anus. This type of anal toy is more popular with women.

The vibrations from anal vibrators provide a powerful and intense stimulation suitable to both men and women. Anal plugs have a narrow neck so that the muscles hold them in place. Having vaginal sex whilst wearing an anal plug can be extremely pleasurable. Most anal plugs can also be fitted in a harness.